Friday, August 13, 2010

IT'S FRIDAY! I WANNA ROCK!!!


SWEET MONKEY FRITTERS!!! IT'S FRIDAY!
LET'S ROCK!!!!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

USS Indianapolis 65th Anniversary

At three and half minutes past midnight, 65 years ago today, the USS Indianapolis was sunk in the Pacific. This event was made famous in the film Jaws, which celebrated it's own 35 anniversary last week on Sunday June 20th. Here's the speech:
"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

WAY TO GO HAWKS!

I've waited my entire life for this win.
WAY TO GO BLACKHAWKS!!!

Monday, May 31, 2010

HAPPY GAMERA DAY!

Senorita Gamera?!



MST3K doing Gamera

Thursday, May 27, 2010

WE'RE GOING TO THE STANLEY CUP!!!

SWEET MONKEY FRITTERS!!! HOLY FRIJOLES!!! AND HOLY BURRITOS-THE-SIZE-OF YOUR-HEAD... WE'RE GOING TO THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!!!
I know, I know, I know... SMF has been less than productive with this blog, but recent events on the hockey rink dictate that something must be said. We haven't won the Stanley Cup trophy since 1961. Let's go boys!! In the immortal words of Rob Schneider, and he speaks for all of us...
YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Wear Black For Cash!

Wear Black For Johnny Cash
Source: CNN

SWEET MONKEY FRITTERS!!!! Johnny Cash would have been 78 today!

The Man in Black died in 2003. In honor of the great man's birthday, the Cash family, Rick Rubin and his American Recordings and Lost Highway Records are asking for a tribute: Wear Black for Cash.

Monday, February 15, 2010

UGLY FURNITURE


SMF has purchased more than a few items from this fine establishment.

Friday, January 15, 2010

SPLINK!!!


Mondo Bizarro Public Safety Messages from Britain. Watch at the tail-end for Darth Vader and the 3rd Doctor!

SPLINK!!!

Chewbacca Auditions

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Better A-Team Trailer


Sweet Monkey Fritters! Now THIS would make for an awesome film!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hitler Wanted Fries

How to Speak Tea-Bag

Sweet Monkey Fritters!!! It's funny because that's how they talk!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

HAPPY 75th Elvis!


What better way to celebrate than with the world's worst Elvis impersonator??

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I've Been HYP-MO-TIZED!

Source: The Daily Telegraph
A newly trained hypnotist accidentally put himself into a trance for five hours while practising in front of a mirror.

Helmut Kichmeier, 27, was found by wife, Joanna, staring into thin air in their north London home. Kichmeier, whose stage name is Hannibal Helmurto, learned to put himself into a trance to help him swallow swords on stage.

He had been taught the skill by hypnotherapist Dr. Ray Roberts to assist in a new act for the Circus of Horrors show. But as he practiced in front of the mirror at 10am he set himself into a deep sleep until 3pm, when he was found by his wife.

It was only after she phoned Dr. Roberts and put the receiver to Mr. Kichmeier's head that he was able to be talked out of the trance. Mrs Kichmeier said her husband had looked just like a zombie when she came into the room to find him.

She said: "I tried to ask him what was wrong but he didn't answer and it was then I looked at the sofa behind him and saw a book named Hypnosis Medicine of the Mind. It was opened on page 45 and a chapter named hypnotic anaesthesia and I realised there was something wrong."